Loneliness

January 8, 2007

It has been brought to my attention lately that there are ALOT of lonely people in the world, and sometimes it can be the people you look at and think have everything sorted with a rocking social life who feel alone.  Pastors can feel alone, young people can feel alone, parents can feel alone, old people can feel alone…

If you are one of the number i’m talking about then i have three things to say: 1) Don’t be ashamed of loneliness, 2) It’s not necessarily your fault,  3) There will come a time when you are lonely no more.

Loneliness is something which can hit everyone at one time or another.  We can be lonely when there is no one is around or lonely when there are lots of people in our lives.  You can belong to a great church, have a caring family and people you meet with socially on a regular basis, yet can feel an ‘outsider’, or like no one really wants to know you beneath the surface.

To be honest i’m not sure why i’m posting on this.  I just want to share my favourite thought: there is a rainbow after the storm!  There have been times in my life when i’ve thought things can’t change, when i’ve thought i must be unlikeable.  I promise you with my life that whatever you think about yourself, you ARE likeable, in fact you are loveable and would make an amazing friend if only people had the time to stop and realise.

Some people use blogging to make friends, living in an almost virtual world.  Others watch alot of TV or films to enter into that as a distraction.  We can try escape from the loneliness in many ways, but those ways are only like sticking a plaster (do you call them ‘band aid’s’ in the US?) on the wound.

For anyone who’s struggling today i want to extend to you a ‘virutal hug’, whether you’re a huggy kinda person or not, we all need to know someone cares. 

A useful exercise in healing any hurts in the area of loneliness: Close your eyes.  Imagine a place you’d like to be.  Then imagine Jesus walking up to you and sitting with you.  What would you say to Him?  What would He say to you? Spent time telling Him how you feel and listening to His reply.

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25 Responses to “Loneliness”

  1. Dreamer said

    Good morning.
    I stumbled through your blog this morning after seeing your link from another blog which you had posted a comment on, and I am so pleased I did.

    Apart from some of your other posts which I have glanced over, and will spend some more time reading through later, this post on loneliness is quite touching. For some reason.

    I guess maybe it is because I can totally understand it, and most of the bits in it , especially regarding the feeling lonely even in the middle of a big crowd!

    Thanks for letting me find this blog!

    Dreamer.
    http://www.adreamerdreaming.blogspot.com
    (Mine really isnt as in depth and interesting!)

  2. hmm i just wanna share that we don’t even have to be lonely or feeling lonely in the first place – our Father is just dying (or rather He died) to have a relationship with us! Jesus himself said that the first and greatest commandment is to love Him with all our hearts, souls and minds. this shows how much our relationship with Him matters to Him.

    hope this can be a gentle reminder to some out there!

  3. timglass said

    Here is my virtual hug for our lonely and hurting friends.
    His blessings this day!

  4. DulceDiana said

    It’s so true; it’s just for a season. I think we must all go through that at some point, and we learn to trust in him and to lean on him. Many blessings to you Maria.

    Love,
    DulceDiana

  5. Jessica said

    I am not lonely…I have family and friends but you are right there are too often people who we think have everything and their lives are the opposite of what we think.

  6. Hi Maria…I saw your comment on my blog about the fact that you work at a Christian radio station…I would love to know more about it! One of my other fellow-bloggers, Rodney Olsen of “The Journey,” is a Christian radio announcer in Australia.

    If you can,shoot me an e-mail at gnews@radio91.com

    Have a great day!

  7. This hit the spot Maria. There are times when one feels out of synch with the rest of the world, but they are passing moments, usually. And when they last longer than a “moment”, you need to hang on a bit tighter, but they, too come to pass.

  8. Aaron said

    “God doesn’t smooth the storm, He calms the sailor” – Max Lucado.

    Thanks Maria

  9. Wow, talk about hitting a nerve. Loneliness is a soapbox topic for me. I can look back at my darkest, most depressed periods and at the root of them is loneliness. I don’t think God intends for his children to be lonely and yes, we can find a friendship beyond compare in Him, but I still think He knows how much we value human relationships and need each other’s fellowship. You can be surrounded by family and friends and be lonely at the core for that quality time and personal TLC that really makes our relationships so valuable.

  10. I think we all experience lonliness at some point in our lives. For some, it’s a cyclical thing. I know I feel lonely home with my kids all day with little time to establish friendships or a social life in our new community.

    Thank you for remembering those of us who are not social butterflies!

  11. Maria–Thanks for the wonderful post. God surely has used you today. Thanks for the hug and I’m sending one back to you. God Bless!!

  12. I feel mega-loved today after reading this .
    Here is a cyber {{{hug}}} for you, Maria!
    At times I look at it in the words of the Christian Mystics…”Alone with the ALONE”, turning it into the positive. Solitude rather than lonliness and aloneness.
    {{{{{hugs}}}} to all in the Body of Christ who are feeling alone today.

  13. donna said

    Hugs to you too…Maria

  14. {{{hugs))) Maria.
    I do feel mega-loved today after reading this post today.
    For some reason I am having trouble with posting.
    So, pardon me if this post appears twice.
    I like to think of what the old Saints would say…”alone with the ALONE”..they knew how to turn lonliness and aloneness into positive solitude. I wish I could do that all the time.

  15. helenl said

    Maria, Thanks for this sensitive post. There are, indeed, many lonely people in this world.

  16. This is a raw nerve for me sometimes, and I am still dealing with it. I have never been a social type person-always a loner. With Christ it got better, but sometimes I don’t allow Him to enter in, so being the Gentleman He is, He doesn’t enter in unless I invite Him. I think perhaps I feel too deeply-too many deep emotions and sometimes I just get tired of feeling, if you know what I mean.
    He is still dealing with me on those matters.
    Great post, Maria. Ten years ago, I would never have admitted those things to anyone.

  17. Linda Elms said

    Loneliness can hit at the strangest times, but it’s always good to have a “hug”! Thanks!

  18. Abby said

    Nice post. Loneliness is a part of the human condition … friends are a great distraction! Thanks for sharing.

  19. Kathy said

    Maria, I’ve followed the link from Spiritual Oasis and preachermike FINALLY to your blog and a wonderful one it is!

    Maria, you have touched probably our most human Achille’s heel. But our LORD really won’t leave us there too long if we cry out to Him.

    I’ve found that everytime I get into a loneliness pity party and cry out to Him – he shortly puts me to shame by bringing the most incredible, unexpected expression of caring and love from the least expected person. It’s almost worth feeling that ache, wondering if anyone knows I’m alive to have God’s overwhelming grace and love pour out on me through another’s expression of caring.

    Bless you for bringing this much need topic to open discussion. Unfortunately, we too often hide our feelings from others.

    I’ll be back to visit you as much as possible!!

    Kathy in Texas

  20. storbakken said

    just browsing.

    More Fire!

  21. Rona said

    I work from home as a Virtual Customer Service Rep. Sometimes, I do get calls from people who are lonely and just want to talk. It really does hit me that there are people, who state they have no one to talk to. Sometimes, they start to cry and it makes my job that much harder. I have to end the call, as positively as possible.

  22. Wdas said

    Not bad, it really can occur

  23. Rulan said

    I was feeling lonely yet again and for some reason I did a search online for why a Christian feels lonely and this post of yours was one that came up. You hit the mark. I am so tired of feeling lonely.

  24. Gary said

    Well, that’s fine to justify the problem, but I seem to remember very early in scripture that The Almighty said: “It is NOT GOOD for the man to be alone.”

    I don’t know how theologians can tap-dance around NOT GOOD. I think it equates to BAD.

    Therefore, I’ll stick to what The Creator has to say.

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